Zorro terrorizes humans at the US Capitol

Being outvoted in Congress usually means losing a vote on an amended resolution or arriving too late for the donut line in the Senate cafeteria.

So, think of the politicians and staff at the US Capitol in Washington, where police scoured the grounds Tuesday amid reports of a very aggressive red fox trying to pick bits off humans, including a congressman. democrat.

Officers warned they received multiple reports Monday of people “attacked or bitten” by at least one aggressive canine at the American Democracy headquarters, in a statement first reported by none other than…Fox News. (Fox translates into Spanish as fox)

“One encounter was in the botanical garden and the second was on the House side of the Capitol near the foundation of the building,” US Capitol Police said.

“USCP received a call this morning about a fox approaching staff near the intersection of First and C streets. This fox may have a den in the mulch bed area…and there is another possible den near the perimeter of the Russell building,” police said.

Police said animal control officers responded to the incidents and “were looking to trap and relocate” any foxes they found.

“Foxes are wild animals that are very protective of their dens and territory. Please do not approach any fox you see,” police warned.

Rep. Ami Bera, D-Calif., speaks during the House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing on the administration’s foreign policy priorities on Capitol Hill, Wednesday, March 10, 2021, in Washington. (Ting Shen/Pool via AP)

online political magazine PunchbowlNews reported that Rep. Ami Bera had to be rescued by police on Monday night after being confronted by a fox that had just bit him in an “unprovoked” attack.

“I didn’t see it and all of a sudden I felt something lunge at the back of my leg,” said Bera, a doctor by profession. “I jumped up and grabbed my umbrella.”

The 57-year-old Democrat was not injured but agreed “out of an abundance of caution” to receive a series of rabies shots.

“I expect to be attacked if I go on Fox News, I don’t expect to be attacked by a fox,” he told Punchbowl.

Witnesses flooded social media with sightings, with several reporting that he spotted the fox chomping on a squirrel or simply basking in the sun on the Senate grounds, apparently slaking his thirst for blood.

‘Insurrection’

Fifteen months after a violent mob stormed the Capitol to disrupt the certification of the presidential election, one joker even referred to the ongoing animal threat as an “insurrection.”

Inside the Capitol, reporters eschewed the usual barrage of questions about the economy at lawmakers’ weekly news conferences in favor of a quiz about possible action against the fox threat.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell ignored the inquiries, but two-term Sen. Joni Ernst was proud to report seeing the animal, without disclosing how close the encounter was.

Red foxes, the most common of several North American species, are regularly found in towns and cities but tend to avoid people, according to the city’s environmental department.

They generally eat insects, small birds, squirrels, and rabbits, and are not known for their predilection for legislators or their intimidated staff.

The species has thrived during the pandemic, according to wildlife experts in the nation’s capital.

“Less ambient noise, less traffic, less interference… Right now, life is better for them,” he told the online magazine DCistBill McShea, wildlife ecologist at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo.

“If there’s a silver lining to COVID, it’s in wildlife,” he said.

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Zorro terrorizes humans at the US Capitol


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